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I have lived and lost this life many times

Been born and reborn and born again

Been pulled out of myself and put back again

I have found myself, of no accord of my own,

In the trees and mist of a dawn yet to show

In the wilderness,

In a foreign land

Given over to foreign arms,

That embrace nonetheless,

Lest none of the familial come to rest

Upon me and in me, that I may know

Something of this space as I alone

 Look to figure out just where the hell I am

To awake and to sleep and to be awoken again

In the desolate expanse of a grey sky

And a dawn (still yet to show)

Through sleet and ice and cloud and snow

A shelterless and aimless man I stand

And (in so doing)

Have froze and thawed and frozen again

And have wandered into yet another foreign land,

Thinking:

“So much as gladness that some end might be.”

And dare I live forever with a map inside of me

With so many dots, yet void of any lines

For I have lived and lost this life many times. 

 

Author’s Note: “So much as gladness that some end might be” is a line from Robert Browning’s “Childe Roland to The Dark Tower Came.”