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I have lived and lost this life many times
Been born and reborn and born again
Been pulled out of myself and put back again
I have found myself, of no accord of my own,
In the trees and mist of a dawn yet to show
In the wilderness,
In a foreign land
Given over to foreign arms,
That embrace nonetheless,
Lest none of the familial come to rest
Upon me and in me, that I may know
Something of this space as I alone
Look to figure out just where the hell I am
To awake and to sleep and to be awoken again
In the desolate expanse of a grey sky
And a dawn (still yet to show)
Through sleet and ice and cloud and snow
A shelterless and aimless man I stand
And (in so doing)
Have froze and thawed and frozen again
And have wandered into yet another foreign land,
Thinking:
“So much as gladness that some end might be.”
And dare I live forever with a map inside of me
With so many dots, yet void of any lines
For I have lived and lost this life many times.
Author’s Note: “So much as gladness that some end might be” is a line from Robert Browning’s “Childe Roland to The Dark Tower Came.”